Removing all doubt

ResumeHell is a blog devoted to "dumb stuff I read on resumes". From the blogger's profile:

Recruiter, somewhere, innappropriately laughing at resumes. Do I make them up ? Why do I need to. C'mon, you know people like this.

Hopefully none of us are memorialized here, as we have had the good sense to avoid groaners like this:

I have a wide variety of skills and experience, some of which I have taken for granted and cannot readily recall. If considered for employment, I believe I will be an asset to your reputable organisation.

Lots of examples much worse (and funnier) on the site, accompanied by amusing commentary.

Mark Twain is famous for saying: "It is often better to keep one's mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." Nowhere is this truer than when writing your resume.